jeevmon

07:21 am: To the couple having sex in a car that I walked by this morning
1) These days, there is full daylight at 6 AM, even on Sundays. So you shouldn't be all surprised if people see you.

2) If you park near a large city park, you might expect that there are people walking their dogs, jogging, walking, etc. So maybe next time, instead of parking on the main street between Taft High and the park, you might consider making use of the Taft parking lot.

3) A Toyota Matrix is far too small a car to really get busy in. You might look at getting one with a little more room.

4) SHOW SOME CLASS, PEOPLE!

04:54 pm: Spam subject line of the day
"Girls want to get a cow cock to explode‏"

02:33 pm: Megan Fox
Maybe I'm just distracted by all the hottitude, but I really don't see what Megan Fox said in this article that caused the Daily Mail to call her the "dumbest Hollywood star ever."

03:19 pm: "We marry other species"
Dear brown-haired guy who's not Steve Doocy:

You are a moron.




Sincerely,

Jeevmon

09:06 am: Anyone checked the weather in Hell today?
Because Harry Reid apparently acted like a majority leader.

05:03 pm: Ignorant wanker of the day

10:42 am: Sobering thought
In some alternate universe, Sarah Palin is President.

Even more sobering thought, there are lots of people who still think she should be President in this universe.

09:59 am: Definitely material for The Ocho
SI.com has a piece on the most ridiculous sports competitions.

Thanks to this, I now know that there is a World Series of Beer Pong.

10:38 am: Good news, bad news, and bad timing
Good news is - The Economist is finally available on the Kindle as of July 1! The bad news is, the pricing is about what the print edition costs. So I guess the gadget lust will have to be tempered until Feb. 2011, when my print subscription expires.

04:41 pm: That's big of you, doucehbag
Just as the words "Senator Franken" were musically ringing in my ears, I had to find this. John Eichelberger (R- of course), a state senator from Pennsylvania (is sponsoring an anti-same sex marriage amendment. During a radio debate with a Democratic state senator, he was asked whether the state (technically Commonwealth, I guess) policy towards gays should be "one of punishment, to somehow prove that they’ve done something wrong?" His response was They're not being punished. We're allowing them to exist, and do what every American can do."

This may cost him votes with the "stone them!" crowd.

01:57 pm: SENATOR FRANKEN! SENATOR FRANKEN!
Aw yeah!

ETA: And Coleman has conceded. A twisted part of me wants to tune in to "The O'Reilly Factor" tonight to see if BillO's head actually explodes.

ETA II: Townhall.com's headlines: "Breaking: Minn. Court Demands Franken to be Certified as Senator" and "Developing: Minnesota Court Names Franken Senator."

I wonder if in 2000, they had headlines like "SCOTUS Demands Bush Be Inaugurated President" or "Supreme Court Names Bush President." Doubt it.

11:24 am: 2009 Bulwer-Lyton winners
Linky linky

My personal favorites:

"The first time I saw her she took my breath away with her long blonde hair that flowed over her shoulders like cheese sauce on a bed of nachos, making my stomach grumble as she stepped into the room, her red knit dress locking in curves better than a Ferrari at a Grand Prix."- Harol Hoffman-Meisner, Greensboro, NC

"A quest is not to be undertaken lightly--or at all!--pondered Hlothgar, Thrag of the Western Boglands, son of Glothar, nephew of Garthol, known far and wide as Skull Dunker, as he wielded his chesty stallion Hralgoth through the ever-darkening Thlargwood, beyond which, if he survived its horrors and if Hroglath the royal spittle reader spoke true, his destiny awaited--all this though his years numbered but fourteen." - Stuart Greenman, Seattle, WA

I think I'm going to insist on being addressed as "Thrag of the Western Boglands." :-)

11:23 am: Not quite what I had in mind
Dear Universe:

When I complained about Billy Mays brainwashing my kid, I didn't mean that I wanted him dead.

Please make a note before you strike down anyone else.

08:47 am: Reflections on a quick road trip
- The drive to St. Louis is actually pretty long. Maybe it's the long stretches of nothing, but it sure felt like a lot longer than it was. Maybe it was the person in the back seat watching the same Dora video 150 times.

- Busch Stadium is nice. Really nice. I think we'll make a point of getting back there.

- I'm so glad that my GPS took us past 26th and California on the way to picking up the beasts from boarding. Now I know that I never want to go there.

09:38 am: And, a lighter thought
Short skirts, bare legs, and tank tops. What's not to love about summer?

09:28 am: Upping the ante
With the double-deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson hitting on top of the Sanford and Ensign affairs, and with enough lead time for People magazine to assemble a massive eulogy issue (*), reality couple Jon & Kate may be facing a world they haven't known for several weeks. I speak, of course, of a world where Jon & Kate are NOT on the cover of People in some form. Indeed, the double deaths and political hanky-panky this week may be enough to bump Jon & Kate off of the cover of lesser celebrity rags like US Weekly.

Therefore, I predict that this weekend, one of either Jon and Kate will "happen" to be photographed in a compromising situation to ensure that their run of magazine covers continues. I predict Jon snorting coke off a hooker's ass in Las Vegas.

What's your prediction?

(*) While the deaths are tragic, etc., etc., I'm also sure celebrity magazine editors view it as damn inconsiderate and inconvenient when famous people die or get caught up in scandal just as the next issue is going to press.

05:34 am: But of course
The leader of the GOP says that Sanford's frolic-and-detour to Argentina is, you guessed it, Obama's fault. I'm surprised he didn't also try to pin it on Bill Clinton getting a bj in the Oval Office.

02:00 pm: Sanford admits affair
I'm surprised he didn't try to pin it on all those gays getting married in the Northeast.

ETA: And Fox News does what Fox News does every time a Republican embarrasses himself - labels him a Democrat:

10:45 am: Double you . . .tea . . . eff?
Glenn Beck and O'Reilly are discussing ACORN and, well, then it just gets weird.

04:58 pm: Who's the bigger wanker?
In the red corner, we have:

The Republican Women of Arundel County, Maryland, comparing Obama to Hitler.

And in the redder corner, we have Peter Morrison, a school board member in Texas recently appointed to draft social studies curriculum standards for the state (which he thinks should become an independent country).

Isn't the first rule when you're in a hole to stop digging?